Almost.

Tdy was a day that I almost cry out of stress
Really nv felt so vulnerable n overwhelmed in my life.
Maybe there will be a case worse than this in future bt at least fr now, it is.
Mind blank,0 knowledge, 0experience.. I was last min arrange to be a room assistant of a MO doctor.
Alone. no mentor. sucks right?
my supervisor ask me ok or not as she was the one who make the last min changes.
And explain they are rly shorthanded.
what u mean me to reply? of course ihad no chance to reject rite?
So at the end I was no hlp to the doctor or anyone ther.
To add on to the prob..patient vol were increasing. doctor is new so abit slow. Me totally a noob mre slow..patients were all black face n show annoyance outside.
I wanted to hlp out seeing this situation bt whatever the doctor says I dun understand n I jus stand rooted on the ground. then I went to ask ard other room assistants bt cos they were bz oso..they jus verbally tell me wat to do n I had to run all ard the clinic..wif patients asking me when is their turn? they waited fr hours alr.
Rly this was the first time I was so stress n panic that I stutter. I know wat I want to ask the staff bt I jus cant seem to phrase them up into a proper sentence. my words are jus jumble up..
though the doctor nv sae anything, her eyes n backview jus seem to tell me her inner thoughts
I am alr so inexp n wif so many patients outside waiting fr me. n yet they assigned such a woodblock to me. so I end up had to do everything.
I rly will nv frgt this feeling I think.
I rly feel so inferior here.
I rly feel like I am jus a bug in this clinic and everyone wants to avoid me.
But agn this may jus be another harsh lesson fr me to learn hw to live strongly by myself i guess?

Then the morning seesion finally end and it was alr 1.45pm n by right my afternoon session was suppose tostart at 1pm and I am suppose to have lunch at 12 pm.. I rly giv up le. and sit dwn clearing up stuff after the doctor left.
and my mentor which is another rm assistant say u dun wan eat lunch ar?! still do so slow??!! 2pm alr ley.
at that time my eyes rly got so sour that my tears almost cameout..
I actually wanted to scream back my unhappiness at her.
bt I jus say: wat slow? u think I wan to be slow meh. I am not even used to the system all those how to end fast? u know I am suppose to start afternoon work at 1pm de ley. now 2pm I still here! wat am I suppose to do???!!
dunno if she sense I am abit stress le. then use a little gentle tone say aiyo go hav a quick lunch la..faster. late fr afternoon work jiu later lo.. go tell supervisor u end late now then go lunvh lo..
so in the end I jus went lunch fr 30min before starting work. luckily after that things are back to normal.. except that I feel so dead.

I think I shld learn hw to manage my stress, temper n face expression well.