Pazzion Cafe

 

So I went on a third date with this guy today

As usual he is late 

So I purposely go shop other places and make him wait fr me back 

Ahahaah

Small revenge

Since last Sunday after secondate

He already express his wish to progress further into relationship with me

So today I told him all my expectations of my bf

I hope he is someone that focus on his career and not only love

And be more talkative and proactive

Be honest

And transparent communication always

As I don't like playing mind games

So he shared with me his company and what he does

His family

His hobbies

His bdae falls on 3 May (Taurus)

Working at a company in JE 

Gonna observe him more for now.

I also directly ask him, u said u wan to date me

But what do you know Abt me? What do your like Abt me?

After jus 2 dates?

Then he said I seem to be his type appearance wise and character I seem easygoing and good to talk with kind

Which is vry superficial 

I replied him I talk alot is cause u don't talk

I no chioce 

Then he ask me so are u awkward? I told him nt awkward bt I feel tired to keep intiate the talking

I am someone who treat relationship serious

So before I commit myself into this

I wan to rly know this person and see whether we will match anot

And not try to date and then in the between start to find ways to match and makes compromise

What for? 

Must well jus don't start in the first place

Isnt that wasting time?

I am sure u dw waste your time also isn't it?

Then I told him, during our get to know ea other phase, I don't mind he go text other girls oreetup with them

Who knows he might find someone who he feels is better?

Then he shake his head and say no need

Ahahaha

Then I also told him, I like my bf have car license.

Then he say he learning from his friend lol!

Then he ask me when I gg for my nex travel.

Then I tease him. Why ley u since first date then ask me this le.

你很想和我出国哦?

Lol!

Wadever.

See nex date how bah.

The Common Man Cafe

Before I start my post on cafe.

Announcement to my lowest weight since 16yrs ago

46kg officially lol!

U think can I reach 45.9kg ?

 

Last wk was a busy one Monday meetup dinner with a guy at kreams cafe

Then Tues nite dinner with another guy at Westgate Miam miam and had the above teriyaki pasta

Bt this 2 guys after first meetup, already no contact le.

As we both knew it , we don't match in everything lol!!

So I jus deleted telegram chats for both of us after the dates

Then wed nite went to meetup dinner with another guy who I started to text in cmb app since 24may?

Then rly only had our first meetup in End jul. Lol!

Didn't have much anticipations

As this the past 2 days de dates and last Friday one is totally waste of time kind.

Bt end up turns to be totally opposite lol!

Avry Dee siao guy who likes to laugh and is a extrovert

And the first one that I met who drives a car

So totally special memory n experience for me

Then yesterday went for cohesion hr dept lunch at a Cafe near my workplace called The Common man

Which I always don't seem to rmb their name and call them The Western man which makes myself a jokes in front of all my colleagues and they kip laughing at me

Jeezzz

 Then my temp girl ytd still tried to bluff me and say the cafe is called the Western man and I rly thought it was it.

Being almost fooled by a 2000s 

Jeezz

Crispy chicken as sides to share

The texture is like chicken thighs 

And Abit sweet 

Not my type of chicken

I like savoury spicy kind of chicken 

Prawn Mac n cheese

Not a fan of Mac n cheese

Bt this one rly nt bad!

Chilli chicken

Which I felt not my type also

Their chilli taste Abit of indian spices

Fried chicken sandwich seem normally

Bt portion is huge fr this

If girls I recommend 2 -3 pax can share

Unless if u are a big eater

Full breakfast plate

The only 2 things I ate on this plate is sausage n egg lol!

So I can only comment that their sausage taste gd!

My own main, all time fave steak

This one their egg and steak is rly thumbsup!

Wanna go with my friends again this place

This is the worst.

The fish had a bad sea taste

If u are not a fish lover

And hate fishy smell

I don't recommend u to this dish.

dessert is french toast 

I don't recommend for those who don't like sweets

This is personally too sweet fr me

Ea bite is telling me I am gg to get diabetes le

Ewww

A scaredy cat

Was always saying why no one ever confess to me or chase after me.

And now when I can feel few guys' interest in me.

I am chickening out

And started to be scare that once they know me more.

They will think this girl is no big deal, is below average only

Low self esteem is pulling me down n down everyday these days

And I had no one to say out.

My once closest friend had distanced me

And I don't even dare to reveal too much to my fam/colleagues my deepest feelings n conflicts

Why eczema leave me so many scars body and mental.

I am scared rly scared

I don't to rly commit myself in love n guys

Then as time pass by, and they find out I am not that great as we first met.

They will distanced n abandoned me.

Then I will get hurt once more.

If I start to open up, accept them and fell in love with them over the time.

I rly had been through alot when my closest friends one by one distanced and left me all alone.

2yrs then I managed to come to terms with all these pain

I rly am a timid person now.

But at the same time, I don't wanna giv up the opportunity now.

What should I do?

I thought I had become a better version of myself and love myself more 

Bt still, eczema scars are smth that no matter how much I work hard, it still stays there with me forever.

Will I rly find someone to accept this kind of me?

I walking among the crowd after ending work today.

Anyhow look ard any girls, most of them have the better skin and face n figure.

How am I suppose to win them? And get someone who can don't love them and instead come to accept n love the imperfect me?

Perhaps Love Cover

Chanced upon this on my youtube feed, rly gd cover, makes me goes back in time to 2006 The Princess Hours drama Season 1

Choice

Sometimes I feel humans are rly irony beings.

If nobody confess his feelings to you, you will feel low self esteem and laments Abt nobody likes u. You are not good enough.

But when someone confess to you, you will start to doubt yourself

Why that person likes me? What does he likes Abt me. And you will feel unsecure and unsettled.

Humans beings seems like they don't know what they rly want. 

17 July Diary

latest updates to my weight

Kudos!

Lowest.

I am having mre n more confident that I can go down to 45kg my ideal weight

That I once dreamt on

Hwaiting!

 

Feast at Dian Xiao Er on My weekends with family at vivo

Didn't know the outlet was selected as the most popular across whole sg

We went fr early dinner at 4pm and when we came out 6pm.

The queue was horrendous long outside

And surprisingly 

Throughout the meal, the staff didn't even chase us to leave at all. 

Lol!

Dinner at Dian Xiao er, lunch at swensen with my family on the same day

Rly wondering how can my weight still manage to drop to 46.1 on Tuesday.

Lol!

Last Friday 

Meetup wif a new lady I met on cmb

Super cool, pretty lady

And we went to ma Maison at mandarin gallery in Somerset.

Her treat

Yumyum!

Yesterday went meet my long time friend

Manage to spoke out all my thoughts n feelings to her that I had been suppressing in my heart for the past 2yrs plus

Teared lots of tears.

Bt she didn't even drop a single tear

Not sure does she feels as deeply as I had not

I asked her

Does she knows why I ask her out fr a talk tdy not

Does she feel that our relationship now is Abit awkward?

Why she had knew and nv once ask me out to talk thing out

And instead jus let it be, let my self to digest everything think it over and take it to my stride kind

Also tell her to tell me out front if she rly doesn't like something or eg don't want to go overseas trip with me already instead of giving me a vague answer n leave me hanging there waiting fr her aimlessly

And in the end be disappointed when she can't go last min kind

Told her to express her thoughts directly n vocally instead of giving me a long watsapp text

Express my thanks to her for the companion n help she provided me since schdays

And ask her if she feels she still need me to be her friend not.

Or we can don't contact ea other anymore

Also told her she changed alot n matured alot these 2yrs after her dad passed on

I am happy she had matured and placed her family in her first priority. Interms of time n money that's why now she doesn't have much time left fr bf n friends 

After priortisjng her fam n herself

I told her I will miss the times when u are the carefree u, and we can talk endlessly

Though I feel like I am still the past me and you all moved on to the nex stage of your adult life already.

We might not go back to how we used to

I will hope to go back n miss this the way they are.

But sometimes things are jus so one way

Passed that's mean passed already

No going back anymore 

So I shall learn the fact and try to live on a life with new friends and focusing mre on myself le.

Thanks n gdbye my old friend of 18 yrs

Hello,nice to meet you again, my new friend.

Updatess on dating apps

Had a bad start to my July.

Thought will be not happy this mth.

End up finding my happiness through those new texting friends I met on dating apps

Cmb and okc

Start to going have meetups with a new batch of people this 2wks. 

I try to arrange 2 meetup fr ea wk to pace myself

As I don't wanna drain myself for packing everyday with meetups

Need time for my personal life and work

So jus daily texting with them

Abit curious how long have I chatted with those ppl that currently still active 

Endup to my amazement

Started chat in 1 May

Then till now still active and maintaining daily texting wor.

Not bad wor.

For me this kind introverts loner creep

Even with my close friends n fam,

I don't even daily text them kind.

Lol!

And I like those that not so desperate to faster meetup kind

Slowly chat then 1 or 2mth then ask me out kind

Now active chats have 4 ladies, 7guys

We shall see Aug how many drop off le ahahah

Then I will have time and go in app swipe agn

Now too many chats need to stop for awhile

On a side note,jus today my lowest recorded weight 46.5kg lol!

BMI 18.7

But the thing is I only see my waist thinner

But wat I want to see is my butt n thighs thinner ley.

Hope can finally slim down at the right body parts that I wanted

July 2024 diary

Really Happy that she is happier now doing what she wants for self grown

However at the same time, saddening that she had changed and we no longer click well like we used to.

Lost a long time friend but wish her well in her future life without me.

Thankful fr her companion for 16yrs.

Met in 2006 and 2022 we started to have differences and drifted apart.

Spent 2 yrs overcoming the time without her companion 

Today rly must bid my last friend goodbye.

Officially graduated from all of my sec sch clique le.

I shall begin my new life with new interests n people.

Hwaiting!