I'm fine, but help me

虽然他们看起来在笑，但实际上每天都在低落的情绪中挣扎。”比起可怕的抑郁症，更可怕的是Ta的抑郁症无人知，无人说。

不要忽略了

I'm fine 其实是 Help me

Taipei 20171224

Went on overseas trip wif friend

First trip without my fam

And first trip wif friend

It had been yrs since i spent nite out frm hm

My dad is strict.

So this is the first time fr me and a special time

I spend what i earn

And i even went 2 trips just in this yr..

Not work trips bt holiday trips

Though abit xin tong

No money liao bt felt a type of satisfaction

I first time spend money the money i earn to gift my parents a trip

Though is jus a near trip to hk

Bt rly felt proud of myself..

Though i am nt close wif my fam

Bt they indeed gave me what i request since young and rly let me go on many trips since young as conpare to my neighbour relatives and friends among me

I went to most countries alr when i wasjus a amall kid

While others my age jus at most go msia

Rly thnxful

Hope i can earn enuf money to go overaeas once every yr..

And one time wif fam one time wif friend

Thanks yh fr accepting my inpomptu request

And end up jus goin on a 3days trip to taiwan

Bt i think i rly tired out with jus 3days of tour..

Plus since i no creditcard..

Had to wait fr yh to have time to buy air tickets last min and end up paying mre than expected..

Bt fr me still within budget. 

               Spend xmas first time out of sg

Bt totally feel no xmas feel when in taiper as we focusing on gg wher to see scemery

Went fr maokong gondola, miranmar ferris wheel, jiu fen mt and elephant mt..

Quite happy that we manage to go scenic views on our own 

As our goal was nt shopping bt is gg see natural scemery

Ibut a pity no chance to go put night lattern

N go yangminshan n sun moon lake

Though i went before wif my fam fews yrs back

Bt had wanted to show yh that as it was her first time gg taiwan

Mayb nex time

 Find out mre abt my long time friend tg through this trp as well

Realise we are rly diff in every aspects

Bt we respect ea other and understand ea other

Hence we blend in well.

Generally i find her a gd companion except rhe fact that she walk too fast and vry 草率 as a female.

And the fact thati am rly lazy to plan schedules..

Too tired

Also she is a gd treasurer

Cant wait fr my nex trip to korea liao

Hope everything is fine by mex yr end..

N everyone schedule matches and can go korea fr at lwast a week

Mean while live hard earn hard

And in the end smile even harder

Short Welcome back for FMH

 After 4mths in china..

fmh is back fr a wk in sg..

went to airport..

feeling diff as we are all working adults alr..

no longer kids that go sch and after sch hang out at mac and neighbourhood..

taking planes are like everyday lifes fr us.

 the feeling is good that we manage to catch up..

though i am feeling rly tired n mood nt rly gd frm all my work related stuff..

feel abit guilty of nt spendingmuch time wifthem..

think i shld manage n cntrol negative emotions mre to myself..

 went jem to meetup..

bt cos keln tmy is nt here..

i am the first one to reach n first onethatnid to go off..

suddenly feel vrytroublesome and wantedto goeat lunch n go hm myself..

dw wait them le..

cos had a rough day at work..

but in the end went lunch wif them oso..

got alil bit irritated n angry when they say abt my trip to taiwan

wanted towalk off..

but manage to control my emotions..

gt rlysensitive on sat..

shouldnt meet friend when your mood is bad..

 moodget abit better..

bt still tried..nitestill nid go out..

and today i spet frm 12midnit to 2pm..

cos too tired le..

and suddenly think fmh is flying back to china one tues..

feel bad...

anyway..take safe and see you in april..

Sunday calmy

Actually sometimes i am rly scared to talk to ppl..
Or when ppl come to talk to me.
My mind goes blank
And will be like thinking oh shit! What shld i say next?!! Cant he stop talking..
And i tend to try to smile my sweetest and look professional and speak professional..
But actually i am peeing in my shorts..
I wamted to look pretty bt i dun like attention ppl giv me..
It is kind of irony rite?
It is christmas soon...but i feel abit sian...so fast need to xin ku one mre yr liao...
Another yr of uncertainies...
Exams coming but outcome?
Shld i end my work. Hw to leave when my boss so demanding kind..
Need to find new job? Contract le this time?
Ubxertainies once again..
Life n humans are so irony...
If there is a 陆杨to marry me ahahah..