Been some time sincei wrote here..
Not because I forgot abt my blog..
But jus had many many things happening to me..
I dk where shld i start..
Working as a perm has been too overwhelming for me..
A me who haven seen the real world yet..
A childlike me still..
I realise there is stil alot mre to life that I had to cope with
To be jus a person living asimple life is too difficult.
And you can imagine there is so much mre ppl out there is so so much mre hard fr them.
I know i am slow but i jus watched finish Produce 101 Season 2.
It make me realsie that so many ppl in this world is having dreams.
And they are working really a zillion times harderthan me..
Feel so sorry to them when they still dun managed to debut..
But every every day thereareso many trainees who tried hard ,hang on n failed still in the end..
Some even went to end their lifes..
But the time that they work hard towards their drema is so beautiful.
They inspire me to try harder to live.
Even though i dun hav any dreamslike them since young.
I..recentlygot backmy results..
For thefirst time in these 4yrs...
I actually had a passes in all the modules i took..
Feel more shock than happy srsly..
I alr told heavens that if i fail still any1 modules i will quit and jus work hard to earn enuf money fr myself to continue my life.
But seems like Heaven allow me to contd studying and giv myself onemre tries and chanceto work hard..
I am..no...I want to study hard to make my mum proud of me...
I think I realise what my dream is..
Though it is not anything big n pretty lky thosetrainees..
But I want to get a deg so that my mum can stop worrying about me..
So that I can stop feeling guiltyto them..
I want to livea life where ican enjoy my work..eat full slp full,
and can go to the countries i lky once eayr..
I know it mayb abit late for me..
as i am alr 24yr old..
This sep start I am gonna be more tired..
And it is gonna be more tough..
But...I dun wan to waste anymre time...
I am not 17anymre..I want to double use my time working n studying since i had blindly let 7yr slip by me..
I want to be lky the trainees..working hard to achieve their faraway dreams..
Whenever i am tired..I will jus look upto my favourite skies and let out a big sigh and contd. on..
I rly dun lky to live among humans..
dun lky to talk much..
dun lky to build relationships..
it is bothersome ,tiring,tough..
and it is not forever..relationship can break anytime anywhere..
in the end everybody is alone..
So i rather be alone right frm the start then be left alone at the end..
It may be more hard fr me to be alone..
and i may find myself kip envying ppl who hav many friends..
buthaving mre friendsmeans the mre time u nid to build n maintain friendship wif them..
I ratheruse time to daydream listen to songs, sing my fave songs,eat my fave food and slp at hm aahahaha
I had been living a vry fruitful and happy life since last jul..
The 8mths of work at NUH,Anglo and CIC and studying hard at the same timein nite class..
Rly thats ia the happiest of the time in my life..
never felt so useful and happy...and the end results is me passing all the modules frm last yr..
I rly wanted to thanks heaven god elf ghost devil grandpa and whoeever who gave me support..
I think i will kip thinking back to this 8 mths in my fututre..
Hope I can contd to be happy till this yr end fr now..hahaha..
hwaiting calcal..work hard play hard!
