A Day with Frustrations

My payroll was once again late payout by 1 day..

All the more frustrated when it was not cause of me bt cos all 3 levels of approvers are too busy to approve my payroll..

And the approval I mean here is..

Just login to the bank website and click the approve button. Which all takesup 5mins at most?

When my payroll is long prepared finish and uploaded on my side since this morning 9am..

And they can till 5pm and nt approved..despite me calling msgin emailing and teams them. ..

Feel so guilty and frustrated at myself...

2 times payroll late...rly hate it that it will affect my record when it is nt my fault totally...

Then nex yr appraisal mgmt will preach on this agn...

Arghhh...worst is things are nt yet settled and still alot other shit to handle... Shall go back earlier tml...

Respect & Peace

Another good drama cancelled cos of politics between countries.

Why can't people just sit back,relax and just watch a drama?

Drama are all entertainment and based on fiction..I jus don't get it when people get agitated and argue of history distortion and arguing where does kimchi originated from..

To me it is jus a food that all and everyone can enjoy..

Why need to make it into a subject for argument..

We are all people living in the earth..

Can't we live in peace and respect for every race and every countries?

Why do humans have to fight with humans

Just don't get it..

Frustrated when it was already so hard to make a living and living our life's and yet people are fighting ea other on top of all this.

Terrifying dream

 It has been many many years that I hadn't have any dreams..

Bt it was ytd nite that it happens

I dreamt receiving news that one of my longtime friend had died in a car accident

Then I was so shocked and can't accept the fact that I didn't tell my other friends or family..

And that day was a working day..so I still nid to proceed my day working..

Bt in my mind I am like self denial..

Thinking how can it be?

I had jus met her for meal last week..

I had jus message her last night..

And I refuse to believe it..how can she jus died in a car accident..

No way no way!

We still had promised each other that we will go overseas together we will do what what what activities tgt in future..

It can't be

It shldnt be..

But I dun even dare to call her or msg her..

As I am scare I wun get any replies anymore

I am afraid that my calls wun be picked up by her anymre

I am afraid that my msg wun be replied by her anymre

Afraid to accept that she is rly gone

It took the whole day till I finally accept and breakdown in tears the next morning

I went up to my mum..

Told her: mum actually ytd I was vry sad..my work was met with alot obstacles and the most sad thing that happen ytd was learning of my friend death news..

Then I cried and cried..

Then suddenly I woke up in sweat to my dead quiet and dark rm..

I stared into space awhile hard to distinguish reality and dream..

Look at my clock 6am

And after realising it is a dream..

I finally cried out loud in relief..

Then I immediately look at my phone

There is messages frm last nite frm her..

Then I cool myself down..

And ran out to my mum slowing area and wake her up..

Then I told her of my bad dream..

And I started crying agn infront of my mum..

Then my mum Abit taken aback bt tried to console me..

Now thinking back is Abit funny the situation..

My mum slowing and suddenly nid to console a crying person in the wee hours

Then she say still early ask me go bak slp cos I by rote is 7am then need to wakeup go office..

Bt I told her I dun dare slp back liai..so I jus went office early tdy..

Even now typing this down..

My tears jus flow out..

I always tot I am a person wif no feelings and wif a cold heart to everything..

Bt actually it turns out that I am still a person and with lots of tears and fears..

Luckily everything is a dream.

And I hope it will be a dream forever.

I dun wan the ppl I care about to die before me.

I hope to live happily with them and then die before them.

As the saying goes , it is harder for those being left behind.

Happy March

 had a steamboat dinner last Saturday..

First time all are gathered..with their significant half and baby..

Feels that time rly have passed by alot..

1 had start up a family

And 2more marrying..

Those who want to be single is single

This photo feels like a cny gathering ahahah

Talk and joked ard like the past..

Nth seems to change much

Except our age..

A great catchup tat nite

 This march is coming to end..

And and actually for the month of feba nd first 2 wks of March so far..

Everything had been laid-back and smooth fr me

Nothing much required frm work and I am mostly at work on standby while being paid..

Feel so grateful and thankful..

Esp this WK...

My dad is on a long shift hours work and I only see him in the afternoon for 1hr..

And out he goes to contd his shift till 10pm at night..

Feel so blissful srsly

Basically is waking up eating breakfast see dramas and lunch then see dramas and dinner then slp..

On top of everything..

I am getting paid..

Felt so tempted to go out and play..

Bt I noe I can't

As  there are 2 mre weddings upcoming and 1 single party nite..

Which requires quite a sum of expenditure..

And if I want to prevent overspending

I shld start saving more this 4mths..

Just wanted to come in to remind myself in many yrs dwn the road that this Feb and March 2021 , I am so blissful!