暧昧的终结

Yesterday went to meet JZ for dinner

Wanted to double confirm my feelings towards him

Met at Northpoint Genki, while waiting for our turn outside

He came later than me, and after he come, he jus stand so close to me, 0cm kind in bet

I take a peek beside him, there is space beside him ar

Then he suddenly ask me why i put down my bag at the floor

I told him, laptop inside hen heavy

So he offered to take my bag fr me

I say no need, and he swing his hand over another side, so i cant take my bag back

N it was in public, i didnt wanna make things look bad

So I jus let him take for me

This is a big jump in his behaviour n actions  towards me after the last time we met in beginning Sep and after he MIA for 4 days in bet

And i gave up and decided to end things le after wishing him well

But end up he text me again

and ask to meet yesterday.

So i also dont feel uncomfortable when he is standing so close to me.

and though we are texting daily, but it had been a mth since we last met

I thought things would be awkward between us

But surprisingly, i felt rly comfortable and at ease even with silence in bet?

We jus used our phones

Once inside, he was still taking my bag for me, so as i was sitting down i thought he will return to me

but endup he jus sit dwn beside me and put my bag at the floor in between his legs.

I like this intiative n thoughtfullness as compared to if he jus simply lean my bag against the wall kind?

But in my mind i am reminding myself

He doesnt think of me that way

He is jus a thoughful gentlemen that treats all his friends like tat.

So dont think too much and dont read into too much like last time.

I am NOT special to him

And he is seated rly so close to me even though there is still space bet him and his other side. 

Cause it was my turn to treat him

He at first told me he is rly hungry and endup he ordered lesser plates than me

LOL

And I thought he had wanted to have dessert.

End up he doesnt like sweets stuff

But i cant finished my ice cream

So i turn ard to look fr the waitress to ask fr another spoon

He said no need and used the spoon i used and finished ice cream.

Then i ask pass me my bag as my wallet is in my bag

and after making payment, he jus grab my bag agn

This time round i jus let him, cos in my heart, I hav to agree

I am happy that he does this to me/ rather it is the first time a guy did this fr me

A scene that I thought i will only see in drama

And never once thought this will happen to me one day.

And a guy will do this to me, i rly feel like i am in a dream, i am living in a drama being the FL

I wished this moment will last longer

But i was brought back to reality when we passed by a group of teenagers who gave abit weird looks at him.

So i immediately ask him, can return me my bag, I can do it! it is not heavy!

then he jus laughed at my stupid action and return me

We then went to Popular bookstore to pick his teaching materials for his tutees.

So he is teaching P3/P4 and Sec 2? Maths, Chem and Physics

While I jus beside trying to recall my memory of how to do the problems in the assessment book

and him laughing at my stupidness time to time.

Honestly speaking, i like this natural atmosphere bet us, him trying to focus to choose his books as the bookstore is closing in 30 min, and still coming to entertain me/teasing me time to time

He is rly mature and know how to behave like his age

While he was focusing on choosing the book, i was standing beside him and a promoter came fwd to me as she sees I nth do and try to talk to me abt the promotion she have for tuition

I am like, eerr, how to say no sia, she seems like a nice lady

Then he jus raise his head and refuse on behalf of me, then smile at the lady after she left

He told me, she is from his competitor tuition centre

then focus back on choosing the books, rly make me feel assured with him beside me,

Like I can jus depend on him n lean on him and become a kid myself.

So I get bored and went of nearby seeing other story books

Then after he finish selecting his materials, he jus came n pick me up and bring me to the cashier

while queuing nth to do, i started to play with my fingers

then he immediately, slap on my hand gently said 不要弄你的手，看我的手都脱皮了

Rly treat me like a kid. Then he go back seeing his phone and looking for his popular member card in the app

I am bored once again so I jus find a candy package infront hanging and played with the wrapping

Then he raises his head and said, u wan this candy? and rly wanna take to buy le

I immediately said Noooo, i am jus playing with the wrapper 

Rly feels like I am being watched 24/7

but this is wat i like, a mature other half and I can be like a kid and depend on him and get led by him

I then will tell myself not to be greedy and jus enjoy every moment now with him

then after paying, it was 2130, so he said where u wan go?

我可以很安心地说 不知道 and trust him to think of and decide where to go and jus folo him

zero stress.

So i jus ask him pass me a assessment book and try to solve the problems in it, while following him . 

So he was pointing to a sum and i try to do, and he were searching a place to go next, he still needs to help me solve the prob and tell me the ans, multi tasking 

AHAHAHA

then we went to cinema, bt there wasnt any movie to watch, so end up we walked back to carpark,

then he drove to semb park, as there is free parking, then  at first i thought har, we need to go walk where again? so hot and this park so ulu n dark wor.

End up he jus off engine and said no la, we jus sit in car, and chillax n listen music n chatting and watching the night skies star jiu hao.

This short experience I shall take it as my first n last and i will cherish it in my heart

as we were chatting. he said his feet no space to stretch like me, so he open the door and put his legs outside.

Then i immediately suan him, u like that sit, then I how to see your face? how can u back face me?

When I all along talking to him my face also never look at him also

Then he jus guai guai put his leg back in.

I know he is tired as he is yawning le as he got 8am to 8pm tuition tdy.

but appreciate the effort to pei me as i dont want so early go home and see my dad.

Till 2300 then i told him you can drive me home le.

Rly, never in my life I had once imagine I will had such experience in a car chatting with a guy at nite at a carpark outside, this scene is one that i can only watch in drama n envy it only

then jus when i thought the date will end as he is driving me home

Then he suddenly say: Can i ask you smth? Are you ok if we were to progress further into relationship?

Threw me off the rocks

Jus when I had come to terms, that he doesnt think that way of me

Then he pull me in again.

Me: 那你喜欢我吗？

Him:喜欢这个字很沉重

         但是和你在一起我很舒服,不会无聊或感觉到累

Me: 那你觉得我们合适吗?

Him: 哪里不合适?

So after he arrived at my blk, he park his car and we jus talk lo..

My mind hen luan, as i totally didnt expected it coming

and my mind gone blank

So i keep play wif my fingers

then he asked me, am i nervous?

LOL, I told him, cause i didnt expected he will say this.

So i jus qns him why he MIA for 4 days that time, he said he need time to think of our relationship and where i stand and how he rly feels abt me

So i ask him, what is your conclusion then

he reply he decided to 顺其自然, he seems like someone who rly follow his feelings

and he doesnt wan to giv empty promises or immediately gg into a rs kind

Then I asked him, so what is your qns agn. then he is abit nervous and stumbled upon his words to phrase out his qns again, Am i ok to further progress into rs with him?

so i jus answer him, my answer is Yes, i am ok.

So i said to him, but now we jus at the stages of dating in mind of gg official ya?

not like we are official, so i can still text other guys, contd meeting with other guys alone?

then he said yes. he wont try to limit what i want to do.

then i said you ley? u not texting other girls?

he said no.

then i said Rly meh? only me? that you are texting?

he said yes.

i was staring at his facial expression thoroughout and his eyes is rly fixated and he seems to be saying the truth.

so i jus turned away and said fine, though this wasnt the answer i had expected. and he laughed

LOL

then as i am getting off his car, he jokingly said so ltr i reach home, i dont need text u?

I roll my eyes and retort back 你说呢？

then he get my meaning and laughed, then before i close the door, i said bye，驾车小心，到家text我

then he said ok bye.

Now right I felt, like I am not that scared/ intimidated of him le?

like i can retort him back/ become more like myself ? infront of him

cause I now know that his face when he dont smile, look fierce only but actually he is not scary at all

AHAHAH

After I went hme, last nite i only can manage to slp at 3am.

Trying to internalize everything.

I immediately shared with my penelope jiejie, asked her advice and also her husband view on this

and nex mon meeting her dinner.

but last nite we both come to a ladies viewpoint of decision

it is like, since now still not in a RS, so I can still contd with wat I am doing now.

only till JZ make up his mind and come to realise what kind of feelings he have of me 

then i will make a decision whether to be with him not

now I will jus giv chance to JJ

and try my best to like him more than JZ