A scaredy cat

Was always saying why no one ever confess to me or chase after me.

And now when I can feel few guys' interest in me.

I am chickening out

And started to be scare that once they know me more.

They will think this girl is no big deal, is below average only

Low self esteem is pulling me down n down everyday these days

And I had no one to say out.

My once closest friend had distanced me

And I don't even dare to reveal too much to my fam/colleagues my deepest feelings n conflicts

Why eczema leave me so many scars body and mental.

I am scared rly scared

I don't to rly commit myself in love n guys

Then as time pass by, and they find out I am not that great as we first met.

They will distanced n abandoned me.

Then I will get hurt once more.

If I start to open up, accept them and fell in love with them over the time.

I rly had been through alot when my closest friends one by one distanced and left me all alone.

2yrs then I managed to come to terms with all these pain

I rly am a timid person now.

But at the same time, I don't wanna giv up the opportunity now.

What should I do?

I thought I had become a better version of myself and love myself more 

Bt still, eczema scars are smth that no matter how much I work hard, it still stays there with me forever.

Will I rly find someone to accept this kind of me?

I walking among the crowd after ending work today.

Anyhow look ard any girls, most of them have the better skin and face n figure.

How am I suppose to win them? And get someone who can don't love them and instead come to accept n love the imperfect me?